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It probably just made him angrier. Like I told you, he’s a big guy; he’s six-foot-five, and at that point, he was getting a little flabby, so he probably weighed around two-fifty, but he was still very strong. He threw me around like a rag doll.”Her pain and terror at remembering that night was palpable, the memories almost as powerful as if she was being physically assaulted all over again, essentially the same visceral, atavistic terror that little Hayley had endured when Cujo was charging toward her. It made sense, our horror of monsters and wild things and sudden, violent death is something hidden deep in each of our psyches. I pushed back with calm, with an aura of love and protectiveness and comfort, much as I had with Hayley, and I felt some of the tension leave her. Just a tiny bit, but an improvement.She took a deep breath, blew it out, and continued. “I was able to grab a phone, dial 9-1-1. He ripped it out of my hand and hit me again, threw it at me, but the line was open. Last time, she had ended up in the hospital on suicide watch before sherealised she had to make the change to her body or die. Now she had thegirls of the tg pride group to help, and she had hoped she could finallyovercome her upbringing and make progress.But now that she was going to the meetings, she was finding the oldfears resurfacing. She had been kicked out of her parent's house afterthe last time, and now she was staying at a shelter, with almost nothingto her name, and no job to buy any male clothes, much less to spend onfeminizing her appearance, so how was she supposed to do this?She now had counselling once a week, and really would like to godressed, but how to even start? The only good thing was she had finallyhad a honest conversation with her mom, and go the impression that shebelieved this gender issue wasn't some passing fad, but she wasn't goingto go againstMichelle's father, who was very conservative.That meant she was on her own, at least for now. The other girls.
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